April 2003

April is, after all, the only month whose primary holiday is designed to put one off one's guard. (NB: I said primary holiday; I know that Easter often falls in April, but it often falls in March. While there is no way I would rank April Fool's over Easter, in the great scheme of things, April Fools' is more likely, in a statistical probability kind of way, to fall in April. So, for that reason I can make the above statement. Although, come to think of it, Easter has a way of off-putting one, as well. Perhaps it's just a mighty fine statement on my part and I should give myself a pat on the back. There. Done.) April is the only month in the year in which copious amounts of snow and ice fall precisely when you don't want them to. April is, as T.S. Eliot said, the cruellest month. And he even said it with the doubled 'l'. That fact alone gives me hope on the bleakest of April days.

Geoffrey Chaucer liked April well enough that his most famous work, The Canterbury Tales, is based loosely on the framing narrative of a bunch of people going on pilgrimage, just like a sensible person should, in the month of April. Actually, I'm not so sure about the sense of going on a pilgrimage, in a lot of ways, but if it involves hanging out with the Wife of Bath, I'm sure it would be an interesting excursion, to say the least.

April. I once knew a girl named April, and just like the month, I was never quite sure what she was going to do next. Not that I mean to reflect negatively on any Aprils who may, by the offest of off-chances, be reading this particularly drivelesque meditation on April. Especially if your name is April May. Which I think would be a cool name.

But yes... I seem to recall having some sort of mental outline when I began to type this about 8 minutes ago (I have 11 minutes left, so I think that follows pretty much with my 20 minutes-or-your-money-back criteria for what can go in this column) and I should try to follow it, somewhat.

Why do I consider April to be a month where pretty much anything can happen? I think that flows largely from my long-term addiction to the Ottawa Senators (if you do not believe this is an addiction, you apparently don't know me very well and/or have not talked to my sister Naomi lately). Watching the Senators, especially the last few years when they have been, on the whole, a pretty good team, has a way of making one hate April, if for no other reason than they haven't yet given their fans a reason to dread or anticipate May. But maybe this year...

And in the midst of the hockey playoffs, a baseball season gets underway. Actually, the baseball season was really early this year, beginning in March. That strikes me as being typically April of it. Not even the baseball season always starts in April anymore.

Heck, next thing you know, they'll be starting football season in April, just to mess with my head.

I used to be able to count on having exams in April, but now I have to wait till May for my exams. Not even school is behaving Aprilly anymore.

But there is one thing that is sure this April; and that is that this is the last April I shall be sitting in precisely this chair, writing this article for you, my faithful and trustworthy eight readers, assuming my boring diatribes the last few months haven't scared you back to the faithful three. Actually, there's more than that that is sure this April, but April being what it is, I'm not making any assumptions, or at least more assumptions than are warranted (note to self: send in tax forms, so the goverment doesn't assume anything about April).

That reminds me of the last great thing about April. April is the time of year when all CAs, CGAs, CMAs, CPAs, and every other type of C_A you can shake a stick at stands up and shouts for joy (or is that yelps with pain?) at the onslaught of tax season-- the 15th for the USA, the 30th for us laid-back Canucks... ah yes, taxes. And I don't mean the state, neither.

Oh well. Hopefully April will not surprise me too much, and my computer will survive into May so I can blather away at you again in a few weeks. Catch you then...