May 2003

Not a sad tired, not a lonely tired, not a fed-up tired.

Just a good, honest, tired.

It's been a long haul--some of my more long-time readers of this column have travelled with me in one way or another for at least the last seven years of this voyage called life--but now, here I am. Tired.

It feels weird to know that I don't have to think ahead to the fall's courses, to which professors or teachers I may have. I've been a student so long, I hardly know what else to be.

And there was the matter of that lovely, incredibly busy weekend just past which included having an awesome time with my friend Kelly who came to visit, finding out that I'll have a postal code starting with R and an area code of 204. Seeing all those friends whom I had not seen in such a long time, discovering that more people love me than I had realized, remembering that God is indeed good.

And now, I'm tired. In need of a nap, perhaps, a nap of 25 or 30 hours. Just long enough to catch up on the accumulated fatigue of trying to meet various academic and personal goals along the way, just long enough to be able to fight off these clouds of weariness always storming up and over my horizon.

Please do not mistake my tiredness as a lack of joy, or a lack of enthusiasm for what lies ahead; nothing could be further from the truth. I'm so very excited about all that is yet to come that oftentimes it is hard to just bear down and deal with what is now at hand. I just need a chance to take a little time and reflect--some time not running, not doing, not having to do, some time just being. A Sabbath, I suppose. After 7 years of in-class post-secondary education, 22 years of formal education, I imagine I'm due some sleep.

And sleep is good. It too is a gift from the Most High--a gift too often ignored, too often set aside in chase of that new thing to do, that new bit of information to learn. If knowledge puffs up, sleep certainly has a way of unbillowing the sails enough to allow for another gust. I think it is in search of that new gust of energy that I now lay aside the keyboard and head for a nap.

After all, I'm tired.